Love

Patience.  Some of us have it and some of us don't.

I know I've been away for a while, but it's been a very hard week.  I'm just glad to get a few minutes to put something together before we roll over the full week between posts!

Last Sunday I found Paige with her hips on the back of the couch, leaning over the back into the window behind it, feet sticking out over the couch, hands and head through the curtains, looking up and down the street!

This is her getting down!  Monday found her in the window!  Completely!

Wednesday she was put down for a nap before we left to go to church.  But, she wouldn't sleep.  So I get ready and then go in to get her.  Here's what I found:

 

She had climbed into the window sill, again!  This time from her crib!

Thursday found her here:

And then Friday, while I was out late running errands, I get a call from Amy.  She asks, "Guess who just walked into our room!  Like it was nothing!"  She had climbed out of her crib!  By herself!  

It appears that we have a climber!

Yet most days find her here, at least once:

Time out!  Crying, screaming, moaning, wailing!  What drama!

It's enough to drive me crazy!  I love this little girl, but she keeps me worried.  And the temper, the tantrums, the screaming, the crying!  I manage to get-by through it all, but I'm lost when it comes to this behavior.  I was blessed with a calm son.  Yet, that's not Paige!  And it never seems to end!  Haha.  I make it sound bad, but it isn't.  It's just more challenging than I thought it would be.

Yet my wonderful wife decided in the first few weeks of Paige's life, that she was gonna love her through it all.  What a wonderful mother!  She holds her, sings to her, and eventually, calms her!  And that's saying a lot!  Paige doesn't calm down that quickly.

As I've said before, Amy throws herself into all she does.  Being a good mother is no exception.   She puts herself out there with a screaming, clawing, fighting little girl.  I'm amazed as I watch her sing and rock as Paige finally calms down.

I just love to watch the two of them together.  It's always wonderful.  Amy is such a sweet, caring, loving woman that there is no where I'd rather be than sitting next to her.

I Always Love My Wife!

Faith

I love it when it all clicks together.

 

So often in life, it's not what you say, but how you say it.

I have always had faith.  I have always believed that my Heavenly Father knows all that we go through and takes all that we experience and helps us grow from that experience.  I've never doubted that.  I fact, at times I have had pure faith that all will be well.

I've never considered myself to be lead by fear.  Of course, at times, we are all overcome by it.  But it has never been a dominating feature in my life. 

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles.  It empties today of its strength."

--Unknown

But, perhaps I'm mistaken.  I do worry a lot.  Much more than I should.  And if I'm honest with myself, that's just my form of fear.  Whether it's fear, worry, doubt, or anything akin to these, it's just fear, in the end.  So I must face the fact that I am too ruled by fear.

"Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time."

--Elder Neil L. Anderson 

So, if I worry, i.e. fear, then I'm not exercising faith.  That can be tough.  I've got a whole list of rationalizations that should cover that...but at the end of the day, it's just that I don't want to admit to the fear.

"Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

  If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?"

--Luke 12: 27-28

Faith and fear cannot occupy the same space any more than light and dark can.  Amy and I have talked about this a lot.  Fortunately, one of us is usually in the light while the other struggles in dark.  So one is always close enough to the light to help the other back.  She's really wonderful that way! 

Well, she did it again.  She had a really tough day yesterday for a lot of reasons, no one of which would have affected her enough to bring her down, but together they could.  So as we made our way through the day, trying to hold on and wait for the light, it came.  First a little glimmer, then it filled our hearts.  It was quite an experience.

I had been concerned about her while I was at work.  Yet, when I got home she seemed normal.  Like it had all gone away.  As we went through our night (grocery shopping together) she shared with me what had happened.

She had stumbled onto a sentence/statement/quote that had cast a different light on the whole subject.

"If you despair, you turn your back on God."

Wow!  That hit us both very hard.  It changed the way she looked at her day and her life at present.  It has changed me and my approach to my life.  In my mind I saw that if we despair, we lose hope.  To lose hope is to ignore the source of all hope: God, Our Father. Suddenly I saw what I have hear all my life in a new way.  It was more clear, more distinct, and more real.  I still struggle to do it.  But I'm working on that and it suddenly seems more possible!

I love the way I can rely on my wife for support.  I love how I can depend on her to find things to help us.  I love how she's always trying to learn more, to find new things to help us, to get better and better.  She wants so desperately to be a good wife and mother.  Yet she is so determined that at times she does not know and cannot tell just how great she has been, is, and will always be.  

That's why I'm here, right now.  I want to tell her how wonderful I think she is.  I want everyone one to know just how in awe I am of this wonderful woman.  I want her to hear from me, just how sweet a wife she is, how great a mother she is, and what a special daughter of Our Heavenly Father she is!  

She is all that and so very much more.

I Always Love My Wife.

Strength

I am often surprised by Amy's physical strength.

 

I met Amy as she worked as a massage therapist at my chiropractor's office.  It took months of suggestions for the chiropractor to convince me to let her work on me.  I had always considered massage a nice relaxing experience, but not highly therapeutic.

Boy, I missed this one!  So, he convinces me to let her work on me and I am quickly taught just how much she could do to help me.  I suffer from chronic plantar faciitis.  My feet have hurt, daily, for years.  10+ years.  Sometimes worse than others, but always there.  Still does.

But Amy was able to make it all much more bearable.  She worked on me for a couple of years and kept it under control and in check.

Not only was I impressed by how much help she could provide, but also by how strong she was.  Wow!  I didn't expect her to be so strong!  It didn't help that I was usually so sore that it didn't take much for me to be in lots of pain.

I've been doing a lot better in the past couple of years and Amy hasn't been able to do much since her back trouble.  She can't work and hasn't worked for over two years!  But she's still very good at what she does.

I somehow managed to get my legs back in a mess today.  Tied in aching knots!  I was really hurting.  I asked her for some help and it was like we were back at the chiropractor's office.  Her working on me, me screaming in pain, everyone around laughing at me!  But I feel so much better.

Amy loves doing massage.  And she is so very good at what she does.  I don't know if she'll ever have the health in her back to do this work again, but I hope so.  She loves helping people this way.  And she helps so many people.  I hope she can get back to it someday.  But I'll never forget just how talented, skilled, and strong she once was.  She was impressive then.  She's amazing today.

I Always Love My Wife.

Gratitude

She has changed us and that is good.

 

How I love having teenagers in the house!  Haha.  That's sarcasm.  Ok, not really, but still, it's a real challenge at times.

I really love that 15-16 year old period.  They know everything, but nothing goes right! Haha.  

 "I'm not young enough to know everything!"

--Oscar Wilde

So, as I spend the last couple of weeks trying not to explode as I watch my teenagers, over and over, doing the exact opposite of what we've discussed dozens of times before, I keep taking deep breaths, counting to ten, failing, and then trying again.  

Holy cow!  I don't get it!  Haha.  How do they think this works!?!?  They keep failing to be as successful as they think they will be, yet it can't be their fault!  It can't be anything they've done, or not done!   And, of course, I can't possibly know what would work!  Haha.  I don't get it!

I'm sure that my parents would disagree, but I know I wasn't like this!

"When I was 14 years old, my father was the dumbest man I knew.  It was amazing how smart he became by the time I was 21."

--Mark Twain

Now let me be fair: I have great kids!  But that doesn't mean that they aren't very typical as well.  

I have really struggled last week to walk the line between enough "coercion"  to get them to do it correctly and too much that breaks them.  I hate it.  They hate it.  No one wins.  Everyone loses.  Everyone resents the others.  It's horrible.

With a stroke of inspiration, which reminded me of the words I'd heard from my wife for years now, I decided that we would count our blessings!  Each night as we start our scripture study, we say a prayer and then each person has to list off things they are grateful for, thankful for, or blessings they have received.  They must list one item for each member of the family, from that day, in front of the whole family.  After we go around the table, we read our scriptures.

The first night was brutal!  I have to exert a lot of "coercion."  The second night was hardly better.  But within only a few days, I have started to see tremendous changes.  The kids are kinder to each other, more playful, less defensive, more willing to listen to us, and I can see that they are trying to see what we're telling them.  They haven't got much better at delivery yet, but their attitude has improved greatly.  

And it's all because of Amy.  I had been taught all my life to count my blessings, to write them in a journal or diary, keep a book of blessings, think about them more often.  But I never really did.  Don't get me wrong, I recognize my Heavenly Father's hand in all of my life.  I'm here today, only because He has kept me here in spite of myself.  I should have died more than once in my miserable life, but He wouldn't allow it.  At least, not yet.  And today I'm so very grateful that He did just that.

But Amy doesn't do these things half way.  As I've said before, she throws everything she has everything she does.  She has kept a gratitude journal for years.  It has helped her through some of the darkest days of her life.  She knows it's power and value.  She knows how it can help people.  So, she gives them away at birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc, etc. (Her gratitude journal, a.k.a. her blog, "Gratitude" is now available to everyone).  All the while, I agree that it would be good, but I don't really do anything.

But this time, when I follow her example, I find that not only is she right, but she's more right than she knows!  This has worked out great.  I'm sure there are still days ahead that won't be so perfect, but that's ok, because I now know that we're operating high above the level we would be at if we weren't doing this!  

Please, everyone, follow the great example of my wonderful, beautiful wife and write a Gratitude Journal.  Count your blessings.  Keep a Blessings Book or a Blessing Log.  Just do it.  And you'll be surprised just how much Amy will have changed your life as well!

I Always Love My Wife.

Charity

She's Either, Or, or Both...

Sometimes the best way to see someone for who they are is to see them for who they aren't.  

 

I guess I do that more than I know.  

 

As I think about it, many of these posts are initiated in my mind by one of two events: either I see someone who is so unattractive in their character or behavior that it makes me thankful that I have such a wonderful wife, or she does something so wonderful that I find myself wow-ed by how fabulous she is!  Today, it's a little of both, I think...

Amy is very good about her concern for others.  She has a huge heart and so easily sees what it is like for the new person in an established group, or for the one that doesn't so easily fit in.  She goes out of her way to try to welcome them, to befriend them, to make them feel at home.  And she's genuinely sincere.  I've seen those who try to do this out of obligation, and it never measures up.  Something always looks faked.  But not Amy.  She's so genuine that it's hard to miss.  In fact, I'm sure that there are some who are so battle hardened by years worth of street experience that they might not believe her.  She's just too good to be true.  

 

But she really is that true!  And she's really that good!

Amy is NOT one of those who gets easily offended because someone tries to help her, or befriend her, or is nice to her.  There are many who take everything as some kind of slight or insult.  But not Amy.  She sees the good in others.  In fact, her greatest pain may well be the disappointment she feels when she finds that someone she thought was genuine and sincere prove by their actions to be petty, shallow, or small.  I have seen her greatly grieved by this and it's always sad to watch her discover their "imperfection."

But Amy is sincere.  She is genuine.  She is tender.  She is loving.  She tries daily, even hourly, to personify Charity, The Pure Love of Christ.  If you ask her, she'll claim that she's far from that, but I see her everyday, and she's closer than she thinks.

I Always Love My Wife.

Mommy

Mother's Day!

Here's the crew, all ready for Mother's Day at church.  Mama surrounded by her kids.  

We've got it rather good.  Good kids, a great mom, and a whole day to dedicate to remembering Mom!  Mother's Day can be a lot of fun.  There's always lots to do on Sundays as church fills much of the day.  After a good meal and some conversation, we can finally relax a little.  

So I sit here and again consider just how wonderful Amy is.  As this week rolls through several key days and historical events, she just kept pushing along.  By Sunday, she's wreaked.  She's worked so hard getting ready for the weekend, that she's overdone it and is hurting really bad.  She has to take her pain medication for her back and she needs to sleep some more.  But not yet, Paige is up and Mommy wants to play with the little girl.  Who knows how long either of them will be up for this, but for as long as it lasts, it's fun to watch!  She's such a great mom.

The older kids have been busy writing cards for Amy; giving her a little personal touch on this special day.  Paige just tries to be good, but she's teething, so "good" may not be on the agenda for tonight.  Me, I just think about how lucky I am to be married to this wonderful woman.

For the last week, that John Legend song, "All of Me," keeps running through my head.  It just seems so perfect, in a funny sort of way.  I love Amy, with all that she is.  Neither of us is perfected yet, but we just keep looking at the good and working around the "not-so-good."  I love all that she is, as she is.  Although we might be tempted at times to want to change our spouse, I'm sure I wouldn't.  What ever we have to go through, we have to go through together to be better (someone will need to remind me of this later when things aren't so smooth...and it will probably require a somewhat forceful reminder!).  

So we just hold on and wait as we continue on this journey, together.  I love her for who she is.  Sweet.  Loving.  Caring.  Self-sacrificing.  Persistent.  Etc, etc, etc.  She really is just simply wonderful.

I Always Love My Wife.

What A Friend!

"I wish I had a friend like you.  Wait!  I do!"

Amy's is such a great friend to all those who she considers her friends.  She'll go out of her way, help, aid, do nice little things, even sacrifice herself, just to be kind, to bring about a smile, or to secretly change someone's day.  It's just who she is.  She puts all she has into everything she does.

Maybe that's where Lil' Paige gets it.  That little rascal managed to stand straight up out of a crossed-legged seated position as I tried to put her in "time-out," pushing against me! All the while in the midst of one of those full-scream, only-one-breath cries!  I thought she was gonna pass out! She was so mad about going to "time-out!"  So she threw her whole body into the struggle!  Not bad for 18 months old!

Her Mom is the same way.  She throws everything into all she does.  And since she's been injured, she's been hampered by these back troubles, but she's not deterred. She still does all she can, and sometimes more than she can or should.  But that's just her.

Tonight, I was thinking about what a great friend she is to all her friends.  I gave words to my thoughts and told her what I was thinking. "I wish I had a friend like you."  Then, of course, I realized, I do!

I am so blessed that Amy is my wife.  I love her so very much.  She's such a great friend.  And I get to be her friend!  How great is that!  She is such a wonderful light in my dark life.  Thank you, My Love.

I Always Love My Wife.

"ALL OF ME"

Amy, I Still Love You, Always.

I know I've been MIA for a while.  My apologies.  I am rather sure that I could have lived out the remainder of my days without the past 10 days being numbered among them.  But it would appear that my Heavenly Father thinks otherwise.  So, as humbly as I can, I say, "Thy will be done."

Out of the past.  Into the present.  Wiped out, again, I sat down at my computer to do a little maintenance and try to resolve some problems.  But more problems arose.  There's a surprise! 

After the kids are finally in bed, I give up on the day and return to my computer for one last attempt to do a little something before the day closes on me.  My mother had sent me some info about The Piano Guys.  

(I know.  I'm coming to this late.  I'm sure I must be the last person in the world to hear about these guys.  Let's just accept that I'm stupid busy these days.)

I looked them up on YouTube.  They're great!  Really liked the One Direction cover of "You Don't Know You're Beautiful."  They are very diverse and collaborate with a wide variety of artists.  They also do really fantastic work of their own. If you haven't listened to their work, you should head over to their YouTube Channel.

One of the artist they worked with is the young violinist, Lindsey Stirling, a truly remarkable young artist.  As I cruised through her videos, I found this one:

I know the song, but this version is my favorite.  I hadn't really listened to it closely before.  Now I did.  As I did, I couldn't escape the memory of my past few days.  And only one thought continued through my head.  I love my wife more now than I ever have before.  This just grows everyday.  I have this wonderful wife.  I am amazed daily by her.  I'm so glad she's here with me each day.  Things aren't as good as we had hoped the would be.  Luck has not been on our side, but our Heavenly Father has.  Without His help, we wouldn't have been able to have made it this far.  I thank Him for seeing us through this life so far, and thank Him for all He will do to see us through the rest.  He has blessed me with a wonderful wife, for which I am eternally grateful!  

Amy, I love you more today, than ever before.  Thanks, My Love, for being my wife.  Let's just keep walking.  What do you say?

I Always Love My Wife.